Kovu and Simba: Short Stories and Other Crap
by petitprincess
Summary: I'm just having a hard time updating my stories. So, i just made short stories out of Kovu and Simba. You can give me an idea for a short story too. I'll give you the credit for it. Please Read & Review. Rating may change.
1. I Was Bored

**That Feeling**

Simba sat out near the Water Hole. Vitani came up to him and said, "You must be really proud of your daughter."

He asked, "What makes you say that?"

She explained, "Well she did settle the differences between Outlanders and Pridelanders."

He nodded. "Well that's true."

"And she also was first to actually even have at least a nonthreatening conversation with one. Now she's married to my brother. Just think of how your grandcubs will be." She beamed. Simba's eye twitched when she said. She sighed, "I can only imagine how you feel."

He whispered, "Suddenly, a lot older."

* * *

**April Fools**

Kiara laughed silently when she saw her dad. She turned to Sarafina. She giggled, "This is gonna be so funny!"

She got out from the bushes and went up to her father. She was rocking back and forth. Simba looked at her and asked, "What do you want?"

She smiled at him. "Daddy, you love me right?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do!" He exclaimed.

"And you like Kovu right?" She questioned further.

"Yeah, whatever you say." He said unenthusiastically. She smiled a little broader. "Kiara, you keep doing that your face is gonna get stuck. And you know if that happens, I'll laugh at you and pretend I'm not your father." He explained.

She put out, "You know what, I'm just gonna come out with it. Daddy…I'm pregnant."

There was a pause. He embraced her and replied, "That's great news!"

She arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah it's great news! It's definitely great since I killed Kovu this morning!" He clarified. Kiara's jaw dropped. She stammered, "You k-k-killed him?"

He nodded and continued, "He told me that this morning. What else was I supposed to do? He impregnates _my_ daughter without _my_ blessing! So I just thought 'why not'."

She nodded slowly. Sarafina came out of the bushes and tugged on Kiara's tail. She placed her paw on her shoulder and consoled, "I'm so sorry."

Kiara said, "It's…okay."

Simba called out, "Hey girls!"

They both shouted, "What?"

"April Fools!" He shouted back. Both of their jaws drop. They looked at each other. Sarafina whispered, "Get him back, next year."

Kiara looked at her father and whispered, "Definitely."

* * *

**Back To the Other Time When Something Happened**

Banzai laughed, "Yeah, be prepared. Yeah-heh…_we'll_ be prepared…For what?"

Scar shouted, "For the death of the king."

He climbed up and asked, "Why is he sick?"

He grabbed him by the throat. "No, fool-we're gonna kill him and Simba too."

He drops Banzai to the ground and he lands flat on his butt. Shenzi exclaimed, "Great idea! Who needs a king?"

Shenzi and Banzai chanted, "No king! No king! La-la-la-la-laa-laa!"

He roared, "_Idiots!_ There will _be_ a king!"

"Hey, but you said, uh…" Banzai never finished.

"_I_ will be-" Scar got interrupted by a white flash. When it dimmed, Kovu came out of nowhere. He pleaded, "I'm sorry. I told you it was jammed."

Scar's jaw dropped. Kovu looked at him and exclaimed, "Hey! How's it going? You're Scar, right?"

There was another white flash. Kovu said, "Gotta go!"

He ran. The white flash dimmed and Simba emerged snarling. He turned his head and saw Scar. He snarled at him and pushed him off the ledge. Due to being in shock, Scar couldn't react quickly enough, and he fell. He howled in pain. Simba shouted, "You killed my father, jerk!"

Kovu looked down and asked, "Was that fun?"

* * *

**Scar's Little Joke**

Scar and Mufasa looked down from the afterlife. They saw a few animals go near the Water Hole. He snickered, "Why don't we appear in the water, just to scare a few residents? It'll be hilarious."

Mufasa thought for a little bit. "Sure."

Scar smirked, "Now where are those passports to leave?"

His eyes got small. He gasped, "But, I left out of here to communicate with Simba. I didn't know you _needed_ the right to leave!"

"Calm down, brother. It's just a joke!" He laughed. Mufasa laughed as well. "Ha-ha! Oh Scar! You trick me like that again…"

He got in his face and snarled, "…And I will kill you!"

Mufasa walked away leaving a scared Scar behind. He called, "C'mon brother! We want get there before they leave!"

"I'm c-c-coming." Scar stammered.

* * *

**A Little Happy**

Kovu tapped Sarafina's shoulder. She woke up from her rest. "What?" She asked groggily. He shouted, "Happy Birthday!"

She got up and beamed. "Oh my Great Kings, you remembered!"

"Of course I did. Now, shut up and hug me!" He replied. She hugged him tightly. She looked down and giggled, "Whoa! Is that a gift in your pockets? Or are you just happy to see me?"

He chuckled, "**Pockets!?** I'm not even wearing **pants**!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever…" She laughed a little more. Then, she realized what he meant. She made a twisted face and shouted, "**No, wait! What!**"

Kovu pulled a 'me gusta' face.

* * *

**Did you like the stories? You can request a short story that you want to read. Just put it in your review. If you have at least an idea. I'll give you the credit. Please Review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Lion King characters. I also got a a few of these from Veggie55's deviantart page. I tried thinking of something different, but it was kind of hard sinc****e**** that's how i got the idea from.**


	2. Here's A New Set of Funny Stuff

**Nice Teeth**

Kiara went up to Kovu and asked, "Hey, you know how there's a dentist human living here?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Why?" He asked. She explained, "Well, I went there and got my teeth done. Do you like it?" She smiled for him. His eyes narrowed and he joked, "Wow! Now your teeth are brighter than you are!"

She thanked through her teeth, "Thanks! They cosht a forshune!"

He just gave her a 'are you serious' look. After a few seconds, her smile disappeared and she gave him an unsatisfied look. He asked, "Just got what I said?"

She answered, "Yep."

* * *

**No You Don't**

Simba went running to his father, he wanted to ask him something. He's been hanging out with his friend Nala, and she told him about her baby brother Mheetu. That made him wonder why he doesn't have a brother. So, he wanted to tell his dad that. He found him talking to his uncle. He ran up to him and called, "Dad?"

Mufasa looked down at his son lovingly. Scar just stared at him uninterested. Mufasa replied, "Yes son."

He put out, "I want a brother!"

It didn't take him long to figure out his answer. The two brothers both said, "No you don't."

They looked at each other, very surprised. They agreed on something! Simba just sat their very confused.

* * *

**Klondike Bar**

A man got pushed off of cliff, tied up in rope, and had bunch of bleeding gashes on his body. Below the cliff is an ocean teeming with bloodthirsty sharks. Right before the guy hits the water, in big bolded letters said, "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

Simba and Nala watched the TV from a human's household. Simba asked, "What would _you_ do for a Klondike Bar?"

She shrugged. "Probably nothing, I doubt they're _that_ good. What would _you_ do?"

He thought for a little bit. "I would join my dad's dark side." He smiled at the end. Nala nodded and then her eyes went wide. She laughed, "Oh! I see what you did there!"

(**A/N: Sorry, breaking fourth wall.**)

* * *

**Nice Hat**

Kiara tapped a sleeping Kovu's shoulder. He slowly woke up. He saw her wearing a top hat. He felt like bursting out in laughter. But, he thought it would be best if he didn't. He sarcastically complemented, "Hey, nice hat!"

Kiara smiled and said, "Thanks!"

He couldn't keep it back anymore. He started laughing. "I'm sorry; but I was being sarcastic."

"Well I stole your mane." She giggled. He arched an eyebrow and looked down in the water. Sure enough, his mane's gone. His jaw dropped. He whimpered, "Can you give me it back?"

She smiled and walked away. He sighed, "There's gotta be something good that can come from this. I just gotta think really…"

He didn't finish; he fell asleep, because he bored himself.

* * *

**Stupid Fans**

Mufasa and Scar looked through their fan letters. Mufasa found a box. He used his claw to open it up. He found two costumes inside. He couldn't tell what they were; they were inside of a white sheet. Scar came up to him and asked, "What's that?"

He replied, "It looks like a costume."

There also was a camera inside the box and a note. It read, "Send me the picture."

It had the person's address. The two shrugged at each other and went to put on the costumes.

_5 minutes later…_

Mufasa and Scar came out looking like Thor and Loki. Mufasa sighed, "I feel ridiculous."

Scar complained, "Well at least you're not wearing cow horns! Hurry up and take the picture!"

He looked at the camera and it turned out there aren't any batteries in it. He showed it to Scar and his jaw dropped. He growled, "What was the point in putting this on!"

All the sudden, they saw bright flashes of white. They turned around and saw a whole bunch of people taking pictures of them. Some of them were mouthing, 'I love you' or 'They're so adorable'.

They both said, "I hate these stupid fans."

* * *

**Which One**

Kiara, Vitani, Kovu, and Simba lay on their backs looking at the stars. They all pointed out different constellations they can find. Simba didn't say anything. Kiara noticed this and asked, "Is there something wrong?"

He groaned, "I would tell you but you guys wouldn't believe me."

Vitani laughed, "Hah! I'll believe anything now!"

He had their attention. He explained, "I keep on remembering my father in the clouds telling me to 'remember'."

They all got quiet. Kiara broke it, "You're saying that your _dead_ father talked to you on the clouds."

Simba nodded. Kovu continued, "And he gave you a message."

He nodded again. Vitani questioned, "Can I ask you a question?"

"What's that?"

"Acid or Shrooms?" Vitani joked. The young lions started laughing. He groaned, "I hate all of you."

The girls shouted, "Hey!"

He corrected, "Well not you two."

Kovu asked, "What about me?"

"No, I **_hate_** you!" He growled. He sighed in relief, "Oh okay good."

The girls gave him a confusing look. He explained, "Do you think it would be the same if he stopped insulting me?"

They both agreed, "True."

* * *

**I think my favorite one is No You Don't. I love it so much. At least it proves that they at least agree on something. They both don't want Simba having a brother. Oh and yes that was when Simba was a cub. Was it funny? Do you have any request? Please Review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Lion King characters. I also don't own Thor or Loki. I also don't own a few Veggie55's deviantart page. **


	3. SO FREAKIN SORRY

**A/N: I want to apologize for not saying i got a few ideas from Veggie55 from the last 2 chapters. It was an accident HONESTLY. If you don't believe it, i won't mind if you report me, i understand. **

**Redfootherocker: You do know that Mufasa is played by James Earl Jones. Who also is Darth Vader.**

* * *

**New Chuck Norris**

Kovu roared down into the gorge and listened to his echo. He groaned, "Every time I roar, it's not loud enough to make the gorge walls vibrate."

Nala and Simba walked up to Kovu. Nala asked, "What're you doing?"

"I'm trying to get my roar to echo loud enough so it can vibrate the walls. Right now would be a good opportunity, since the wildebeest aren't here." He explained. Simba placed his paw on his chin. He asked, "Can I give it a try?"

"Hah! I don't think your lungs can handle it, but go at it gramps!" He laughed. He cleared his throat and deafeningly roared into the gorge. Not only did the walls vibrate, but a few boulders fell down and the ground shook making it feel like an earthquake just happened. Kovu and Nala both started shaking. Simba laughed at them both and walked away. Nala whispered, "Africa, we now have a Chuck Norris."

Kovu nodded. He added, "You have been warned."

**And Around**

Simba looked at his reflection in the water. Kiara came up to him and giggled, "Wow! I didn't think you'd be a vain lion, daddy."

He didn't laugh along with her. He just kept looking at his reflection. She noticed his discontent and she nuzzled him. He asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

She stopped nuzzling him and gave him a concerned look. She answered, "Yeah. You can."

He took a deep breath and asked, "Do you think I look…I don't know…bigger?"

Kiara's concerned look faded away. She stifled her laughter. She snickered, "Why would you ask me that?"

"Kovu made a crack about my weight-"

"That would explain why he was inside of a crater." She interrupted. He nodded showing that she's right. He continued, "Anyway, after I threw him off of Pride Rock. I noticed something."

"Your distance is shorter than it usually was." She whispered. He shouted startling her, "Exactly! So, I thought maybe I am gaining a little weight."

Out of nowhere, Kovu came up to them limping. He growled, "Thanks for throwing me, jerk."

Kiara asked him, "Kovu, did you say something about my dad's weight?"

"I did. What is he fretting over it? I didn't think he could be such a girl. A girl that really let herself go." He joked. She rolled her eyes at him. She looked at her father and embraced him. She consoled, "Even if you are getting bigger, which you aren't, that just means there is just more of you to go around."

Simba smiled lovingly at his daughter. Kovu joked, "…and around, and around, and-"

* * *

**I know i got a few of the other ones from a DeviantArt account, but that's also where i got the idea from. I was looking at Veggie55's comics and thought making short stories would be a great idea, i wasn't even thinking about taking her/his ideas in the first place. But, i was having a hard time making some of my own. Actually, when i first made these i was gonna put that i got them from a deviantart channel in the Disclaimer, but it was like 3AM and i wasn't thinking...which would explain why i put those down there. That's also why i ask for request. That way, i won't have to get an idea from someone else. I'm sorry if this offended you, i really meant to put that in the Disclaimer. Anyway, if you have a short story idea please put it in your review, i'll give you credit. Please Review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Lion King characters. And Around is inspired by a Garfield comic (Can't remember which one).**


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